Navigating Grief and Finding Comfort: A Personal Journey

It’s been a while since I updated my blog posts - two years to be precise.

The two years seem to have passed by very quickly but looking back, it feels like those two years were actually spent on my inner healing.

I wanted to talk about these two years and what it’s meant for me in my own personal grief journey, if you’ve read the About Us section my website, you’ll know that my personal experience with grief is what has shaped my journey and influenced the creation of The Flower and Gift Yard. In October 2020, I experienced a profound loss when my beloved sister passed away from cancer during the pandemic.

Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience. It's not something that can be easily defined or neatly packaged. It's raw, it's messy, and it's unpredictable. When I first began to navigate this journey, I found myself struggling to come to terms with the reality of my sister's absence. It felt like a gaping hole had been ripped into the fabric of my life, leaving behind an emptiness that seemed impossible to fill. We were so close, she was my everything and we’d speak to each other every single day.

The first year was undoubtedly the hardest. Someone once warned me about the "first year of firsts" – the first birthday without her, the first Christmas, the first anniversary of her passing. Each milestone felt like a painful reminder of her absence, serving as a stark contrast to the memories we had shared together. That’s when the grief really hit me, October 2021. This was by far the hardest experience, the flashbacks of our last moments together, realising that she was actually gone and that we would never ever speak again.

I thought I was ok, but I soon realised that I wasn’t. I didn’t want to go anywhere, see anyone, speak to anyone, anything I did just reminded me of my sister. I had my cousins wedding in December 2021 and seeing her photo there was a reminder that she was gone. She was just there in a picture frame, not there enjoying herself with the rest of the family as she should have been. It felt so unfair.

During this challenging time, I discovered several coping strategies that helped me deal with my grief and at the time, I didn’t even realise they were helping me. Nonetheless, here’s a few things I would suggest if you’re reading this and struggling with coming to terms with losing someone you love:

Counselling – I was very fortunate to be offered counselling through the Employee Assistance Programme at work. I had six sessions over a period of three months. During these sessions the counsellor was so helpful in making me talk about the things that I was struggling with. Such as, the pain of having to re-visit the hospital where my sister was receiving end of life care or the pain of trying to look after those around me that were also struggling with their loss. She was able to give me advice and guidance on dealing with situations and provided me with a safe place to say whatever was on my mind. Another great resource if you're impacted by cancer is Macmillan, I also used their services in the very early days of my grief. 

Meditation - This sounds like such a cliché but regularly meditating offered me moments of peace and stillness amidst the chaos of my emotions. I regularly listen to Jahnavi Harrison and I find her music so soothing. We were so fortunate to have Jahnavi join one of our Zooms sessions that I organised in memory of my sister, to have her lead the meditations with us was an amazing experience allowing me to feel some comfort during a difficult time.

Exercise – I’m not a fan of exercising but in January 2022, a friend of mine encouraged me to join her at the gym and soon after we both joined Reformer Pilates. This has now become part of my weekly routine but at the time it was a form of therapy by releasing my emotions through exercise. Now, two years on, I feel so thankful for being surrounded by positive friends who encouraged me to find myself again.

Dealing with grief is hard, it’s a personal journey that has no time limit. This year will be four years since my sister left us and it still cuts so deep, but I must say some of the most powerful sources of comfort are the thoughtful gifts that I have received over time or even bought myself.

Gifts that honour my sister's memory, give me a reminder of the love that we shared. That’s why it’s important for me to offer such thoughtful gifts for people coping with loss and family and friends of grieving individuals.

From personalised memorial gifts to customised remembrance items, each gift can offer a beacon of light in the darkness, offering someone a glimmer of hope that things will get better.

Memorial Candles

One of personal favourites, is the wooden tealight holder, which you can personalise with a photo and add your own scented tealight. Another great alternative is the Smoked Glass LED candle, you can also upload your photo to this one.

Gemstone Candles

I’ve also introduced crystal-infused candles, these are aromatherapy candles infused with different gemstone crystals. The French Lavender Crystal Chip Candle gives a nice relaxing vibe, due to the lavender fragrance. Once the candle is finished you can use the amethyst crystals during meditation. Amethyst is known as the stone of emotional healing, helping to soothe and heal emotional wounds, release negative patterns, and promote inner strength and resilience.

Memorial photo frames

Personalised photo frames are also a nice gesture for someone that is grieving. My cousin lost both her parents to cancer, so I gave her this photo frame as a gift, in the hope that it offered her some comfort during such a difficult time.

As I reflect on my journey of grief and healing, I am reminded of the impact that thoughtful gifts can have on the grieving process. They are not just material objects – they are symbols of love, support, and remembrance, offering comfort to those who are navigating the turbulent waters of loss.

In closing, I want to extend my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you who has supported me on this journey. Your love, kindness, and generosity have been a source of strength and comfort during my darkest moments, and I am forever grateful for the light you have brought into my life.

With love and gratitude,

 Sheenal 

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